Eric the half a bee.

As I was falling asleep with my mouth slightly open because if the congestion when I heard a bee. I can’t be sure that it was a bee, but it was certainly louder than an average fly. It might have been an above-average fly. Superfly? I’ve seen some really big flies over the past few years. Not science fiction horror movie big like the spiders, but the flies that would have made the football teams in fly world.

I listened for a while as it buzzed around making that strange sound that insects make as they jig Jag back and forth in different directions. It seemed to be staying in the air longer than I expected, has insects often fly from place to place but never for very long in the air. As Time passed, I started to think, maybe it’s not a fly. Or Abby. Maybe it’s some electrical sound that I haven’t heard before. It almost sounds like a man shaving his beard at 3 a.m.

Then suddenly I realized. It must be the lady upstairs using her vibrator.

I was able to fall asleep without the fear of an insect in my mouth.

 

Reframing Frustration.

One valuable lesson I learned in therapy was reframing. It’s the ability to take a situation and look at it from a different perspective.  I’ve always been skilled at that, as my brain defaults to looking at situations from multiple angles. I just didn’t have a name for it.  It fits in well with my main storyline, which is that we all get to write our own story.

This morning I had car trouble. Nothing too significant, but enough to make me late… or actually, force me to cancel.

I hate being late, and even more, I hate cancellations when I’m the one making them.  I don’t mind a bit when others do it to me, but that’s a different story about introverts.

This cancellation was even more emotional than normal because the appointment was a reschedule from a previous one I totally spaced on and missed… the worst of all my fears. I hate letting people down, and not showing up for an appointment is probably the worst of my sins. It means the person waiting was left uncertain… and that is a horrible feeling.

I’ve always hated waiting for people and being an obsessive time sensitive guy that happens to be the one amongst my friends that drives and owns a car, it was something I did a lot. I am constantly the one waiting for people who need a ride. I’m on time… they’re not. Today’s story is about how I made somebody else wait.

I posted this one facebook:

 

When all else fails, make sure you get to tell a great story.
— Jeff Goebel

I think in my head that a smile makes it worth it, in a strange way. I didn’t make my customer wait long before I notified her, although I suppose she cleared her schedule for me, and now has to re-plan her morning, but it was a minimal inconvenience, and so far already, I’ve seen a few likes, and smiles and even a real genuine #rLOL.

My car is broken, I cance4lled a rescheduled appointment, but this isn’t affecting my day or my mood.

Happy Friday, thanks to reframing the bad as good.

Another Random Woman saying Hi

Every so often, a stranger will pop up on my instant messenger apps and say Hello.  Conversations usually go somewhat similar to this:


03hccn41ztpns1ow6qc1h2yish@public.talk.google.com: Hello  Jeff

Jeff Goebel: Hello.

03h: How are You Doing

Jeff Goebel: Oh I see. So this is one of those random stranger messages that I’m supposed to believe actually happen to guys.

03h: Well I Followed You On Google+ i taught i could say Hi , just trying to make frends
nothing more
mean no harm too

Jeff Goebel: No worries. Random gorgeous women say Hi to me all the time. (hehehe) Ok, not really.
I apologize for sounding hostile. As a woman, you must get random messages from guys on message formats too. SOmetimes I jump the gun and become defensive before they even tell me about their web site or chatroom cams. (grin)

03h: lol i unstands Jeff

03h: lol  Any I’m Kim, I stay in Texas How about You? 

Jeff Goebel: I’m in Toronto Canada.
I’m still pretty suspicious you’re in Africa somewhere and the request is pending…. but Hello. I am sorry life has made me disbelieve blonde strangers with candy.

(delay)

oh well.. I ruined a beautiful relationship I guess… grumpy old man that I am.

03h: What do you mean that am in Africa where the hell is that

Even if I believed, She doesn’t know where Africa is? The improper use of pronouns is always a dead giveaway of an African scammer.  They never use “I am” but often just am.

Jeff Goebel: heheh.. Nevermind. Hello. Happy Tuesday. In Canada, it’s a holiday so I call it Fake Monday.

03h: LOL

Jeff Goebel: Was there a question, or some comment? Just a friendly hello from a fan? I almost never post to Google+
Jeff Goebel: I know… I’m weird. Not what you expected.

03h: really
Jeff Goebel: I like to be different.

03h: same here
Jeff Goebel: Well you are different… except not too different from Gisele Martin.

click. She disconnects.


This is the 32pixel thumbnail she’s using in her GTalk profile:

This is the Google Image compare I performed:

This is Gisele Martin:

https://myspace.com/gisele.martin92/photos

 

Sundaying

I like the idea if Sunday, even if it isn’t actually Sunday. I often post on my Facebook wall that “I am Sundaying”  as an expression of laziness.

Perhaps laziness isn’t the right word. When done right,  a Sunday isn’t about being lazy so much as just setting aside a day to not do the stuff you do the rest of the week. For those of you that work 5 or 6 days a week at a more regular job, a lot of Sundays are filled with hard work. I’ve seen people with hobbies or the urge to build spend every weekend remodelling a basement,  or rebuilding a car,  or offroading into the forest to hike a mountain or shoot a deer.  The point is, to many people,  Sunday is a very active day.

I don’t work a regular job. I don’t leave my home to earn my income, so there is often no difference to me between a Tuesday and a Sunday. My weekends can be any day I want, but I still choose to celebrate weekends with everyone else. Neat things open on a weekend,  and since I don’t have a real hobby. I enjoy street festivals and fairs and other walk around events,  and many of them happen on a Saturday or Sunday.

So I alternate as schedule permits and sometimes I have my Sunday on the Saturday, like I did today. Today is Saturday for everyone else,  but I Sundayed it up, doing very little. I went and bought some meat and veggies at the market, and then just stayed home inside all day watching movies and TV. Relaxation. Sunday.

Tomorrow on your Sunday I’ll be out on  Saturday adventure.

Life Changes

I’m losing my morning person abilities.  The winter and spring of 2017… I’m not waking up energized and dtsrting my work day anymore. I’ve even lost my proide in being a morning person.  I hate it. I have not gained the late person powers. I still want to go to bed before 10pm… but I no longer like waking up at 6am and geting a lot done before noon.  Most days I’m not starting work till after 9 now. The days are getting longer, but my work days are getting shorter. That’s not right.


I want to say FUCK OFF a lot more now.

In my 20’s I may have wanted to say FUCK OFF once or twice to somebody.  In my 30’s maybe a few more times.  It seems in my 50’s I want to say it almost weekly.  Oooooh fuck off. It can mean many things.  It can mean; shut up.  Please shut up, or OH MY GOD WILL YOU PLEASE STOP TALKING.  I can mean, YES, I GET IT!.. Are you kidding me?  Noooooo!  Oh FUCK OFF.  IT’s a satuisfying term, even if it’s just in my head.  I’ve hardly ever said it out loud… but vthe amount of times I’ve mentally thought it – often accompanied by an eye roll is way up.

In recent times, the meme; “Zero Fucks given” or similar has become a part of pop culture. It’s not quite the same as FUCK OFF, but it has a similar patern. People who care less, are far more irritatimng thgan people who care, even if they only care one or two fucks worth.  If you have zero fucks to care about something, I probably want to say FUCK OFF to you.  You’re probably irritating as fuck.

I wish I could transfer some of my fuckks cared to you.. but I don’t think it works that way.

Hmmm… is that what GIVE A FUCK means?  Care.  MAKE LIVES MATTER.

I could wear a T Shirt that says EVEFRYTHING MATTERS but the black people – or the people who give too manhy fucks abiout everything might protest. IN 2017, BLACK LIVES MATTER is a phrase a lot of peoplem give a fuck about it seems, even if it’s just to complain about somebody else not giving a fuck about it.

Oooh fuck off is a phrase to me, that is one step short of a face slap.  Some people deserve a face slap, but I understand such an action might land one in jail, or if you’re white, at least get a scolding.

I could write more about this but…. awww. fuck it.

The new leader.

This is pretty big news. I called it. A sneaky takeover is approaching. It doesn’t happen often in the real world that a race for the leader sees the winner fall from first to third place, but it might happen this year.

Microsoft was first out of the gate with an open system that allowed anybody to make and sell the hardware, and let Microsoft worry about making it all work together. Most would say they had limited results.

Soon, Apple came in as leader cooler looking hardware that was the same for everyone, so software was able to be more secure and bug free. They made a lot of money and also took over the music industry and phones and tablets.

Google meanwhile made a third option that wasn’t really being taken seriously in the laptop world, but Android phones are neck and neck with Apple in popularity and each wins at some parts of the phone market. Windows phones are still struggling.

THis year however, Google sneaks in a new PC OS. All new Chrome Laptops will run Android apps. This means they enter the computer market with a polished 10 year tested OS thatat least half the world knows, uses and loves. BAM.

With people using their phones and tablets more than their home computers in many cases, this is huge news. Microsoft lost it’s lead because people stopped needing it, and could choose options. The switch to Macintosh was a big move for people. We usually like to avoid big moves.

However a move to ANdroid is a breeze, and we may already have all the software we need. Word Processing, video, Facebook and Chrome. The urgent need to have Microsoft Office is no longer an issue.

Google, with almost no fanfare may win the home computer and laptop market this year and in the future. They underprice the competition and in many ways, iOS is great on a phone, but the Mac OS is now the only one not supported on tablets, phones and desktops. Mac OS is the old school way.

Plus Android is in TV, Fridges, cars and everywhere!

The TV I watch 2016

We’re a few months into the 2016 seson, and a few shows have already been cancelled. It’s time to list the shows I still watch weekly.

 

In no particular order

The Daily Show with Trevor noah
Full Frontal with Samantha Bee
@Midnight (occasional)
TMZ (occasional)
Dragons’ Den (occasional
Drunk History (occasional)
Tosh.0
22 Minutes
Rick Mercer
Jimmy Kimmel Live (occasional)
InnerSPACE (occasional)
Still Standing
Saturday Night Liv
Supernatural
The Great Indoors

The Big Bang Theory
Rosewood
South Park
Lethal Weapon
Survivor
Brooklynn 99
Timeless
Conviction
Travelers
Murdoch Mysteries
Lucifer
Elementary
Rizzoli & Isles
Class
Doctor Who
MacGyver
Notorious
Simpsons
Family Guy
The Good Place
Good Witch
Conviction
Four in the Morning
12 Monkeys
Dark Matter
The Librarians
Angie Tribeca
Border Security Canada
Braindead (if it returns)
Four in the Morning
Houdini & Doyle (if it returns)
IZombie
Killjoys
Last Comic Standing
Lucifer
Private Eyes (if it returns)
Saving Hope (if it returns)
Sunnyside
Timeless
Whose Line is it anyway?
Penn & Teller Fool Us
Wizard Wars

America: 30 seconds at a time

I’ve always been fascinated with people watching.  Seeing smiles on faces energizes me like sunlight energizes Superman. I especially like seeing different cultures and how the react tio the same things, and observing different towns and communities and noticing the subtle differences.

Sometimes it’s the little things, like the change of a font on the street signs, or how some cities handle their stop lights and advanced green signals that amuses me. Sometimes it’s more cultural.

I live in Ontario, where we’re known for bagging our milk, and thinking Toronto is the center of the universe. Apparently I also say “mouth” a funny way. A woman from Seattle once told me I was free to say mouth any time, as it brought her smiles.

One of the unique properties of a Southern Ontario upbringing in the 60’s and 70s was having a much wider TV selection than most places. In many US cities, they had ABC, CBS and NBC in the early days. Living where I did, with a metal antenna up the side of our home, we received those US staples, but also Canadian networks CBC and CTC from a few different cities. Later, we expanded to include Global and CITY TV. When I was 13 or 14, I actually had almost a full section of 13 channels. Most of North America had 5 or less.

In the days before Cable TV petitioned for the rights to replace US broadcasts with Canadian simulcasts, this meant I could watch the major US TV shows on Canadian channels or US channels and see the difference in culture through their commercials. It has always fascinated me. Local culture is always best displayed through commercials. I’ve been a fan of those differences.

Today, I don’t get as many opportunities to witness American commercials. Almost all the shows I can watch on cable are streamed with Canadian commercials, even on the American channels. It’s rare to get to see a show with the US feed, either from Buffalo, Chicago or some other US city.

Today, while watching a show called Rosewood, I happened to record a later version which airs after midnight on a Fox affiliate. Usually I record the 8pm version on a secondary CTV channel from Hamilton.  At first, I didn’t notice anything different, as I fast forwarded right to the start of the episode. During the running of the opening credits, I was surprised to see a “FOX PRESENTS” banner above the title. Interesting I thought, as we don’t see that version here, and it looked like it was a poorly added graphic overlay that was done later, but a different graphics team. Perhaps the Detroit Fox affiliate likes to self promote. I can’t knock them for that. Here in Canada, the competition between networks is getting fierce, and I’ve noticed we’re doing the same. Almost every show starts out with a banner from the parent company now. Sadly there are fewer, as almost all TV in Canada is presented by only three companies. Since many people also download, adding a branding to the credits makes sense.

Where I really noticed the change however, was at the very first commercial break. I paused to write this blog almost instantly. The very first commercial was amazing to me. It was for Lyrica. A medication so bold, it even has lie in it’s name.

Fibromyalgia. It’s one of those semi mysterious conditions that is often diagnosed to people who are sore or tired without obvious explanation. For this reason, it is somewhat controversial, and is often over diagnosed to people. I know almost nothing about it, so I am aware I may offend legitimate sufferers by saying it’s not always a real thing. I accept that judgement. I am a pain wimp, and I don’t want to belittle anyone’s else’s agony.

I did however, find the wording in the commercial almost comical. It’s obvious lawyers are terrified of the litigious American market, but still want to advertise. We have very different last in Canada, and have substantially less medication marketing allowed. I have no doubt if the laws were different, Canada would be flooded with similar ads, but for now, it remains a very America thing. Commercials in the USA are shockingly fear based.

After a few shots of very depressed looking worn down women discussing their loss of energy, they proclaim their doctor has prescribed this drug. These words follow above a “DRAMATIZATION” of a purple body figure with lots of interconnected lights flying slowly around a figure; “Fibromyalgia is thought to be the result of overactive nerves. Lyrica is believed to calm these nerves.  For some, Lyrica can significantly relieve Fibromyalgia pain.”

I found this statement to be very well crafted to indicate, for most, it will do nothing. They don’t actually say anything. The product is a theory, or at the least, something that only works sometimes because nobody is really certain what Fibromyalgia is. Following this, is the nearly 15 second list of side effects the drug may have. These include trouble breathing, rash, hives, blurry vision or suicidal thoughts or actions. The most common side effects however, seem to be the exact effects described 20 seconds previously as the symptoms of Fibromyalgia.

They end the long list with; Don’t drink alcohol. and the text; Lyrica is not a narcotic or antidepressant. I especially love the words; Those who have had a drug or alcohol problem may be more likely to misuse Lyrica, meaning any problems resolution in addition are your fault, not theirs.

Drugs ads are hilarious to me, as a Canadian. Sometimes the listed side effects are longer then the promotional or beneficial descriptions. Drug companies just need enough time to tell you you’re probably sick and should ask your doctor about this drug. Then blah blah blah blah blah for the rest of the ad. I understand all these side effects are listed on the package or a sheet inside the bottles, even in Canada, and I understand it’s a law, and probably even a good idea to have them clear in a commercial, booth for health and legal reasons… but it’s still funny.

The commercial ends with the tag; See our ad in HEALTH, which I assume is a magazine.  The commercial ends with photos of the worn out ladies now enjoying a camping trip with her family, and the next commercial begins.

It’s an add for a credit card, aimed at terrifying you about scam artist contractors, and how their product tells the truth. 1% Cashback. It neglects to inform you of the interest rates. I was almost surprised it didn’t have a long disclaimer with it, or at least teeny unreadable text… but I guess banks have a better lobby group against being honest in ads about the downsides. It was only a 15 second spot anyway, leaving hardly enough time for a fast talking announcer to say something like; “credit card companies may cause financial grief, loss of relationships and/or everything you own. Do not use while intoxicated or after 4am. Side effects may include suicidal thoughts or actions”.

The following ads were more national, and similar to Canadian ads, although the Glad garbage bag ad was still quite fear based. It solved the problem of your mother smelling a stink when she comes to visit. You need Glad Garbage bags to eliminate that odour. Not having glad bags may result in suicidal thoughts or actions.

It didn’t say that in the ad, but like many US commercials, that side effects of suicidal thoughts or actions if you don’t buy their product, or elect their candidate or ask your doctor about their medicine is implied. Maybe the solution to America’s suicide violence problem is just getting the right garbage bags.

End of Part 1.