The supervised bullet notes

[box] I would like to point out that no mention of the bullet point form topics was mentioned. [/box] I’m glad I remembered the title because there was lemon cake and … well.. Lemon cake. The origin story of lemon cake for me, goes all the way back to when I never learned gradients. Lemon cake was always just awesome. Those that I might grade as very different qualities today were ignored as a young child not having a lot of conversations with my parents. My Mom did make a special lemon pound cake. It was a delicious solid pound cake, not quite dry, but not really moist. It wasn’t bread. These really are not lemon cakes. They’re oversized… oh. What do you call those ..

ah, not important.

I love pound cake more than lemon cake really, My Mother made a pound cake and the lemon was great. and then she drizzled a thick golden yellow semi solidifying icing sludge. The top of the cake looked like the gutter at the end of our driveway. As I think back, my memory has adjusted so that the yellows were very similar. Our eyes do this, but in this instance, the unreliable colour memory match was secondary to the verification his story is true.

Crap.  I’ve done it again.  I’ve time travelled.

You have not time travelled you nitwit.

Nitwit. Cool. I think that’s worth 5 points, isn’t it? Yes, although technically a few countries use it but only because we conquered everyone who used the term imbecile or fool.

Oh that’s horrible. You know you would have slaughtered most of them even if they’d agreed to say nitwit.

Anyway – shut up about that. You sounded in real distress… (pointing with a look he knows)  And shut up about I can’t hear. I know how our fucking universe works Ranj… and … I’m … telling you. I’ve been here before. I know what is going to happen next.

… heavy sigh. And of course, this happens now… as you’ve just … started writing fiction.

I was never writing fiction. I’m writing scripts written as if I were living now in the character. In fact, I am not writing scripts. I am transcribing. These are the transcripts of the all mighty NOW.

What did you just do?  What did you say – -argh – type, whatever they’re calling our consciousness now. Did you just create a new expression for God that suits your own needs?  Did you just —

STOP. Don’t start getting in the territory where we both realize your argument is silly but you still need to defend your belief in the story, in order to get the bake sale and charity car wash money that pays for Ron’s son to be in the Special Olympics.

Now listen. Arrrrrr I hear the bell.

I told you. Everybody hates that fucking service bell.

What?

Those bells. Those shrill silver dome things you click once to assure your service technician arrives in a bad, suddenly disturbed mood. I hate that bell. It os one of those noises that seem to travel just a teeny bit faster than the others, slicing the air.

Whoa.  I don’t hate bells at all.

… oh.  That never occurred to me. My fear of being started is based on the sources of such startles as a younger child, probably between birth and age 5 – or so. I will credit the wording I use is all that I can remember of the idea. Base core memories are observed and burned in the first five years. Do your best to have them learn that the lies they’ve been getting in trouble for are meaningless to the discovery of the lies your parents tell, and laugh.

Hey man. You need a Snickers.  You’re starting to sound like the toaster.

I had toast this morning.

the buzzer goes off to the side. A slight murmur of the small crowd in attendance was almost perfectly in unison with their expressions of; oh fuck I thought we’d gotten rid of that buzzer gag.

No.  Side betting is the new culture in a word where nobody wanted to work, so nobody has to. We all make money betting on what other people will decide, thus making the pressure far greater than ever on those of us who can’t decide.

Ah yes… but we have you covered.

Do you pay for me?

ha ha… not what I meant and you know it. You also know it pisses me of that I do in fact pay for everyone like you. I live in Canada.

Just be thankful the Orange ones don’t get in.

What?

There are more of you?

Nevermind.


Let me explain how I went back in time.

I knoooow.

You do?

Yes.

You’ve just been shitting me this whole time?  Do you know how?

How what? How I went back in tiiiime?

Nooooo… You didn’t.  We were pranking.  You guys call it PUNKE’D I think.

I’m pretty sure we all try really hard to call it absolutely anything else..

But this is not a prank.  It’s another glitch in this universe.

Raj you keep trying to get us to believe in some crazy theory.

No. I am asking that you consider yours is a similar but different crazy theory.

The Gre–

No. I stop you.

What?  Really? You think you can stop me? It’s my quote and I like to use it when it seems fitting.

I’m older than you. I remember when I first understood the difference between … well let’s just say, the longer you’re here, the more loops you get to learn from.

I’m telling you.  I skipped a loop.  I looped back.

I can prove it.

Well, of course, we need to see proof of this magical power. How?

I want you to stay silent. Don’t respond, ok? oh wait.. You can say ok that you understand by then wait.

I think I remember this prank Raj. You just ignore it and then in an hour you call back and when I answer you sound electrocuted.

Shhhh

Don’t SHHHHHH

Shhhh the shhhus — Her hands go up to each side with a flair to silence everyone.

Wait…. Wait…. I travelled back in time, and I did it from here. I happen to know the next thing will be my own words from before, continued in the same format that I recognize.  Wait.  Shhh. “I was amazed this year to disco–

I was amazed this year to discover that … click click I could swap out the new USB without that waiting period the nerds keep telling you could be as bad as somebody stealing your computer.

(He wants to speak more, but she grabs him and runs out the door)

Strangely, without anybody really noticing the incongruity, Ranj pops his head up from the back and yells, we tried to explain having your laptop stolen is way-way worse. How could you not understand that?

We stop for a moment, and Raj cocks his head slightly like a dog does when it’s curious. I open my mouth to say something but realize there is no way to come out of that alive if by chance he thinks I’m relating dogs to — argh.

oh no!

What?

We might just have changed history!?!?  Oh shit.

what?  What?  You are nuts. You know you’re just tripping right?  You didn’t time travel.

but… there was more!  Quite a bit more.. I think.

More what?

Well… we started talking, and so the NOW went down our stream instead of the one it was destined to —

you know how I feel about destiny?

No I don’t.  What? Why would you say I know how you feel about destin–

“You are my density.”

Ha. 15 points setup and risky joke that ends up being a mild irritation if you’re wrong.

However – di you realize I’m talking about time travel. Makes the joke double point payoff.

I believe we could be in… well… I guess we’ll never know, I mean it was only a 15-second difference at most. I stalled your NOW and changed 15 seconds.
Big Deal.

Just then a construction beam from the ceiling swings down and slices his head off.

How long was that?

26 Seconds.

Then it was his time to go.

I have an idea.

Well, do we want those 15 seconds back?  We’ve already compensated our schedules and changed our watches. NOW doesn’t stop when you have to tie a lace.

But I have an idea.

Ok.. You might not love this next part.

Ok. Wha do yo–

SHHH.  (The look)  SHH

Silence.

The second set of silence, although there was no way for humans to see they were clearly separate.

pause

Ranj has one of those accents that we used to be allowed to laugh at because they can be hilariously funny at times. I get it. I understand that we need to be nicer to each other because apparently, words hurt way more than sticks and stones.  It should have been tanks and bombs can break our bones, but you better believe you’re going to be grateful you get to hear those words nagging you ass to get the clothes out of the dryer.

pause pause

Oh.  I guess that’s it.

Well, that was hardly 15 seconds just now.

Yes it was

no it wasn’t

yes it was.

Well this isn’t an argument.

DING – I’m sorry. The five minutes are up.

DING?!?!  Where did you get that bell?  Why on earth would you have the exact bell I just finished describing is on the shelf in my bedroom in hell… and the subway that runs between the bathroom and my bed isn’t actually as loud as you might expect, well I guess really it probably is loud but everything is so loud it kind of just all hums after a while. It’s the vibration that drives me nuts. They picked a good hell for me.

I thought vibrations was kind of your thing.

This vibration makes the bell fall at random and unpre… at completely random times. I just higher each new time because now I’m awake. I don’t like fireworks, backfires, forward fire, yappy dogs that don’t know the door makes that noise all day.

We are probably alike in how we react to some things in life, and even in how we react to a startle may have similarities, but for me, the noise usually has the additional side effect of wiping my memory clear.  I will often stand wherever I was when the noise broke my stream. To be fair, you’ll quickly learn as you read my style, I tend to forget my place a lot these days. Most humorously, in the continuous examples that virtually every single blog post in this collection starts off with an idea not even remotely related to the title.

You might be mistaking the quirkiness of my titles and judging it either fail or a genius with the incorrect data. Yes…

dqdqwdwqdqqwd

oh crap.

now what? I thought we fixed it. We’re back. It was one paragraph.  Two sentences.

so what’s the problem now? Can you finish the ending up?  That’s your other speciality right?  Did you say you have a mental storage of all the commonly interchangeable sentence ends that are not commital?

Oh God. Do I sound like that?  It does sound like me.

Once you explained you add more stones to the yellow brick road so it winds and you have longer to think up the best ending.

That doesn’t sound like me.

It sounds like a student of your teachings making it my own.

Retell the stories.

Together they say; Things that go without saying need to be said more often.

Do you hit the t hard in often?

ok.  so we’re good?

Well…

The shushes.

Yes. You were being cheeky.  You won’t like this my Captain. Shush.

Right.

So where are they?

I’m sure they’re up there. They were ages ago,

Were they?

But I did go back in time! I swear.

Yeah, I know. It happens all the time when you sit in that chair. When Alice walks by, it sparks and wiggles just enough that you don’t notice but you start reading a paragraph previous.

oh.

Well, that makes sense.

Well… yeah. MOre sense than going back in time.

It’s not that crazy. Hold on. Be fair. None of us is prepared to learn whatever we learn that is beyond our version of possible. Admit it. Not one of you is going to just accept it.  Look how hard it is to get idiots to stop believing your guy can walk on water and – get this – I said he was the son of God and they bought it but.

but?

But then I said.. he IS God.

Wait, what?  The son of God is God?

Hold on a second.  What is happening here?

oh my god. Why is everything such drama with you? What? Nothing is happening… well, except that beam that chopped off his head right in front of us.

You don’t notice anything?

When did we become Gods?

What do you mean?

Well, a moment ago I was alone… and then you came at me.

I didn’t come at you.

No, but you did come out of nowhere.

Everywhere is out of nowhere.

Wait.  Really?  We’re Gods?

Oh.  Huh.  I never really noticed before but everything makes a lot more sense. How long have we been gods? I seriously don’t remember anything before waking up on the couch just now when you dinged.. when you make that memory shatter my joy. It was either just now, and a million years ago. We were not counting the time between till the third one.

Did you say you don’t remember anything before waking up just now?

Yeah. It’ll come back I’m sure. I bet I could ride a ronkle like I did when I was 5.

No.  You don’t understand. None of us do. We all just woke up. No memory.

Wait… really?  Everyone?

Well, how do you know we’re Gods?

(waves arm, explosion, planet and industrialization)  I’ve been doing that for about 20 minutes. It’s great fun, and then Donny has created this galaxy with two suns that doesn’t quite work, so he destroys every galaxy I create. It seemed appropriate for the metaphor.

So maybe this is how Gods start. BAM here you are sucked in. Start making what you need.  Maybe God was Adam. Maybe he made Eve out of his rib. Then he says, I will treat you right, but you must remain loyal to me. She says; well of course God. I am loyal to you.

God and his sib-wing companion live for quite some time in paradise. You might confuse the workers in the garden with migrant workers, but the actual truth is, the colour of human’s skin is actually directly related to where on the globe they evolved to best suit the temperatures and conditions of the sun.

So who are you?  Who’s THE God?  Is it Mom?

Who Who Who… What?  No.  This is before that. When there were Gods for everything.  Leanard Pilksmith is the god of Hershey’s Walnut kisses.

OoOoOOoo… so close.

That’s what I said. I said, Jeff will say you were close.  He loves the regular Hershey’s kisses.

Oh.  By the way. The shushes were all shushed and accounted for?

How do you know? Did you go look? We’re not supposed to read back you know.

I didn’t. I just know.

You just know. I bet.

I am the God of WordPress.

It all makes sense now.

Doesn’t it?

No. Not at all. God of WordPress doesn’t get sarcasm.

They never invented literary sarcasm. It was always hidden so the dumb people would learn the totally opposite wrong facts.

Do you know that when they first started to give black people the right to vote, West Virginia passed a law all radio and TV ads had to give polling information in a sarcastic tone, using extremely obvious incorrect answers.

What? I don’t believe that for an instant.

You’re right. It was fake news.

Of course, it was.

It was actually Florida.

Well, that I can believe.

blackout.

End of Part 1

Sunday Feb 18th 2018

 

Wait, what? Shocking Realizations

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Doesn’t it bother anyone else that an apple with a bit out of it is the symbol for betrayal, evil, and the creation of hell.

Oh yeah, and a computer company.

 

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SUPERPOWER

If you believe that the story is the only prize. The story is all. The storyeller are the winners.

If you believe in the story, then there is little difference between good and bad. If you understand the power of creating your own stories, then any situation no longer has a happy ending or a horrid ending. Both have a good story.  To anyone who didn’t share the NOW, the story is what survives… and you get to tell it, not only to anyone who’ll listen, but you get to tell the story to yourself.

Understanding the story gives you a superpower. If all outcomes are equal, and the reward is the gift of something new to share. As a bonus it also gives you the power to ignore this, and just say you understand.  hehehe.

 

 

First Jetpack Post

Weed high from 2 strong pot brownies that I review as excellent, and like KFC, is good cold too. I found a nice spot on the reation of the first two and my already suspciously joyous day was even coooler.

I started my new routine of therapy. Saying it. ding, these days, the populous is accepting typing as a new quicker way of communicating. I like to award myself a pride point here, which I use almost as In “I told you so”, because I figured out messaging was the medium I was a star in.

I used to be the king of 2 minute voice messages with the ladies. When their appearance wa removed and I could not influence my comfort by judging them on attractiveness. The nicest peole I know have all been people who may have scored lower on the insenitive 1 to 10 scale the media created for us to use. The bad way of thinking equivilent to… noooo.  don’t do it.  don’t say it.

Have we split into two people again?  You spoke up to stop me from using Germany in an anaology again. In recent sharing, we learned to hate a man we did not know 100%without question. We know there are a few peole. ding. There is an entire blank of the world that was … that suffered the stories of their elders experiences. The keepers of the stories. The 911 of … stop. Nobody would … you just can’t use examples that will be hurtful just because it might make peole think that our universe is a story.

Although I may not believe my own premis with what they have decided to call faith, It is a story that works, and can actually fit quite well into the universe you have created for yourself, whether you knew it or not.

From the moment each of donors shared their care package and sent a half off to camp, and two ones became one one.

Wait a second.  Wakka wakka wakka.  I have been writing and imagining on the premis that life begane the moment one became two. nill noticed it was diffent that it a moment ago, and as soon as there were two, they kept splitting. They expanded into the universe like am ballon can scan the entiure room like a roomba robotic vacuum cleaner scans the floor.

A baloon is like a cat, or a child with A.DD.  Eventually I will have seen all there is to see in my immediate universe. I will leave the waiting room with a bsic memory of anything I could turn into a story from that room.

I want to tell this story now.  Stop me if you’ve heard it.

ding warning sign. Repeating same stories from a grandchild perspectibe is an early sign of scary memory stories. From my current NOW, I see it as a way to remember the good stories and tell them as often as I can.

As an old person, I have colected a storage of my own bible. The word I use for cimmunity stories to share and use as anaologiesin life to help you with decsions and touch choices.

The community stories, shared by one or more speakers was where the community learned the original things that go without saying. The smart people figured out that a shared set of stories was not on;y a great way to create society and a growing world that would work.

The early afopters of American essentially had to play SIM CITY for realzies and taking advice from the Europe you left was frowned apon. Somebody smart one day declaired that Pride was a powerful tool, and if we could control pride with the offset of the concept of sin, and acceptable levels of bad.

We made bad and good too polar, and gave our youth the impression that doing things bad, was somehow actually bad. Like the Santa song goes, we taught peole to be good for godness sake, because you never know who knows your real stories.

The worst thing in my universe is having to give in to a better story, and abandon a perfectly uselful lie. Every time I am caught in an alteration of a truth brought forward as withness in the courtroom drama that is acted out in my mind, Thursdays at 7pm.

ding. Original cool idea.  Frogstar.TV The Orange Network doesn’t take sides.

Feel free to sign up and start blogging anonymously with a false persona. Tell the truth using who you imagine being, and strea, your thoughts at the speed of your typing, or the speed of your voice.

As little or a smuch as you like, but the idea behind the Orange network might be this:

 

I want to create something new, that lets shy peole not have to break the ice. I know there are many like me that can be a really good date, boyfriend husband or whatever given the chance, but those men who need to be asked give up. I imagine frequently many ways that the 70’s bar scene would have paid dearly for.

I believe it is ime for something huge, and I wish I could be found by an investor or a fan. Somebody to bring my dreams to life and make us both more comfortable than I am at the start of 2018.

Ok Google what day of the year isit?

It talks, but starts with the definition of a day and a year. It then tells me howmany days left there are this year, which would have been a valuable number to relate to, and a good goal to set… but becaue I was expecting the day of today in the year, and when I didn’t, I wasn’t ready to save the other answer.

It was the mental equivilant of swigging water out of the bottle in the fridge and discovering it was soda water instead. You may not agree, but something about the taste of soda water, sometimes referred to as tonic water, is perhaps the most vile taste I have ever asualted my mouth with, and I spent two years in my 20s as a raging alcoholic.

Sweps water with bubbles is unexplanably shocking tomy system. It does not mix with my saliva pleasently. That’s probably more extreme than I wanted to conveny. It’s more like expecting water and getting 7up.  You spit out a little bit before you catch up to what that NOW twist was and smile.

I Dadapt to the new NOW.


This portion of the Thursday addition of the new NOW nightly

The new now

The Ornage Daily monoalge.

My favourite concept of all time up till NOW is the

I stopped.  I wiped it clean.  I don’t choose to share my all time favourite because I like to have surprises. Ideas I hold on to in case I ever do find the secret or, more truthefully if ever I allow myself to cheat.

Aha.  The secret to some waterfall puzzles in life, os that not everything can be accomplished with nice and good. As you grow, whether nurtchured by the teaching comunity of school, work, churh, scouts, clubs, theatre, knitting or quit clubs… watever.

I am a huge fan of the community that gathers and shares the stories.

We think of the church as the keeper of the original stories, but sadly at some point, probably pretty early on, the idea of the community gathering regularly as a group to exchange the stories of their immediate universe.

I have learned a modern version told in the form of Star Trek so that I would not realize it was a bible story analogy of earth until I was older and saw it again, and again. Star Trek told good bible stories, but before TV, the community was the news.

WHen we learned how that guy in the book handled revenge, or anger, or whenthe girl you like asks you to help her get a nother guy to ask her to the dance.

The community stories were the Friends and Seinfeld of their time.

Stories that subtly instructed us how other people might react to situations, delivered as comedy.

I have an elaborate back story about the history of how I became a funny guy. It was a choice. The remarkable thing I say, when looking back is that I did so without being noticed. I knew I was funny, even without the clieche nagging of peers who smile and tell me I should be a commedian.

I never wanted that enough to try.

I never regretted it, but big moves like that need the other half, and That is definatly a third square chess move. I castle to run away faster than usual.

ding. Steve Memory; I laughed my guts out when best friend understudy StevE Boysen one made a joke that I didn’t react well too. I have no memory of the joke, but it landed flat and Steve turned to me and said; Whatta ya want, every one a winner?

I remember it with a slightly silly voice, but only tio make the character have more depth.

Whatta ya want, every one a winner became an instant motto for me. I adopted the concept into my work in oprgress movement towards being funny.

I wanted to call my show. Punchline News, with Orange Jeff

I just love the idea that I porefer my news filtered by things that will make me smile, and think, but in the end, delivered with a punchline. I am one of the millions of people that get by with the world knowledge of only sources delivered with a punchline.

I am an oncessive lsistener of Howard Stern as often as I can, but alwys cronologically and I have not yet given into the obcession of never missing a moment of the 3 day a week 5 hour broadcast, listened to in order, even if a week or more behind.

I confess that Imay have missed a day or

The light on my keyboard blinked at me, and I looked up.  Looked waaay up. The computer was catching up. Apparently I can NOT type at the speed of though for prolonged times.

ha!  My Computer has what I have. It needs to stop and take a breath to replay a story of the NOW that just happened.

It can fall behind in a similar way that I do. I hve seen my videos do it, and then spin ahead like an 80s video tape fast forwarding.


If I could ever send a messge back in time, it would be to share my writing and find a new partner eariler. Maybe Norman abd Egan would be interesting in joining Troy and Adam and maybe Daniel is a community project.

My idea.

Frogstar.TV rentable news segments. If you watch The Daily show they frequently have a segment produced entirely seperate from the daily show news jokes, with a story produced as a documentary, or like a real news segment.

They’re the stories that need to be told more often about life in a fictional country.

Democracy is an invention that allows one nation to have oposing sides that believe in sides with a game like pride and will fight tonot have to admit defeat… in many many aspects of life.

Somebiody smart figured it out that communities work best when the citisens are allowed at least two choices and so they have the impression they have control.

Society needs to have an alternative option toas many vchoices as possible to allow us to have identities and conflict.

Or its by design to allow for idenity, and rebellion and the conflict was a side effect when people started to figure out there were a lot of people they’d meet that preferred to not have to pick a side because that’d involve thinking about matters greater than their universe needs.

A great many peole love to be told what team they’re on. I am one of those people. I will avoid chooing anything until the moment I am standing in a position where I need to choose. Luckily, I am skilled at detecting what the best choice would be in your mind. Your existance allows me to choose with minimal fear or anxiety. The better I know you, the more comfort I can rely on to make choices in your presence that you will be pleased with.

— DIng side truth. I have confe… lets not use the word confess. Nothing I tell as my story should be considered worthy of that word.

I want to tell my mental stream as honest, and we;ve already witnessed some hesitation at times, but in the end, I am enjoying the genre I may have created. It’s be nice if I don’t claim victory 3 years ffrom now when somebody with more than 17 followers on Tumblr has.

I get ythe power of a friend colection although I still think iot’s a billion dollar iea to make the next facebook social media a fan based system.

ding serious.

huge.

It might actualy be posible to replace Facebook with a secondary stop in people’s day. Inventing a new way to grab peole’s valuable time and check your site before or after Facebook can lose quickly. If not enough peoplejump on board from the start, a new social media attempt will fail.

We say that it’ll be hard to topple the leaders online and create new leaders but I still understand the Internet was invented after it was released, and I can not comprehend how two generations past 137 years will be an unrecognizable world. Our fictional cabemen are marvelled by escalators and the “hooble” telescope, but real time travelers would be cruished by the revelations of what our world can do.

The world changed each time we got better at writing things down. Stone to chalk to graphite, which may hve started as actual led, which makes sense. The first change in reality that led pencils don’t use led.

I remember a single image of the moment when Bill Cosby revealed that Grampa had been driven crazy so he’d no longer control the money.  Led was dropped on his bedroom lightbulb over time and he went mad.

With the last stories of Bill Cosby, he greatness was tarnished with emotion as he was outcast as evil and all his good was suddenly shameful. Bill Cosby, if we believe the storuies we are told, didn’t get to die a legend and positive influence without an asterisk.

Now lets put aside for just a moment any stories of pervertions or sexual action reactions of a diferent time, is it fair to alwys include the news stories of the artist in the art?

Is it acceptable gehavior to seperate the two and appreciate art for how it makes you feel, and if you’re a thinker like me, I enjoy appreciating art for the stories I can imagine went into it;s inspiration, design and creation.

It is one of my favourite things to do, … reframe. I sincerly enjoy interaction with artists, because although I know they often work as their income, but a true artist that I can click with and smile, should enjoy the gift of a story, or more often, the gift of being ble to share their story, and recieve the reward of a smile.

There is value to an artist in the moment you get it. It makes you feel something, and a story appears. The opportunity to share your reation to art is either one of the best parts or the worst parts of being an artist.

I suspect the scale slides.  The first good fans are what creates the universe. I have recieved a thumbs up from an opinion I trust. My story has just been given a go ahead and I can move forward telling it live every night in a soon to be interactive nightly report.

The New Daily

In a Tinychat window with 24/7 silkengt webcam and conversation / question requestor.


The second ever Netflix show I binge watched in 3 sittings was Disjointed.

The origin story of this was the woman who introduced it to me. The first share from an almost stranger in the alternate universe of a near perfect lady for me, said hi high one day after a round of voice Cards Against Humanity. One ofmy favourite past times in that universe for talking to gorgious women without fear.

I use it as a stage and I love it.

The last time however 5 pretty women would not talk or react. I begin to self doubt and what I imagine is a hilarious campy game show voice hosting, was actually a clown that doesn’t know they’re laughing at me.

Funny second life story. I returned to the universe after a month away. I got down in the dumps as it were because three fantastic first dates didn’t last a week before they ran.

Its not me its her doesn’t fly after 3 in a row.

I can’t figure out the line between sitcom amusing irritating but always ends with a happy wife.

I want that so bad. I want a wife that I can work into a riutine of a better life.

again.

gif of Dinasaur Baby AGAIN. I even have the SL festure.

gesture.

 

It happend this night. I switched

I was about ti wrute a new blog post this Tu

Restart. I had the auto correct settings slightly wrong. I’m happy with my choice to change my own normal. I both love and hate change depending on how much notice I have. I can not however livecwithout change.

The greatest stories of our life begin with change. Your universe expands.

Let’s get serious.

I need help, and I honestly think, for the right person with the right smile that changes me and … I lost the word.

No. I delayed long enough for the original thought to flow down my stream and now I have to decide. I want to tell the one I can share in public.

Fuck. That sent shivers. I will not share this on the public blog without edits.

Idea. I will edit all these and for a book forward with propped edits to make it less maniac, maniac at your door, because she’s dancing like she’s never danced before. However the first draft of always be available forces change one as an according option.

Ding.

I am getting excited that a small trickle of people have seen this blog.

Stop.

I insist on sticking to the titiliar topic. I only learned that word recently. It scored two points for a word I’ll use, and 2 bonus points because it has to in it and people will smile when they hear it. Some words get points just because they’re fun to say or flash memory to sex.

The old ha ha… He said Uranus humour.

Snapback.

This is an historic moment. I have been impressed with my last cool gadget buy from China back when I was carefree and wanted things. It was a cheap windows 8 tablet that could dual boot in old Android.

I loved it, and promptly upgraded to windows 10 with a 128gb memory card back when it was free. The tablet worked fantastic and never gave me issue, except some internet connection issues that were common among these China cheapie. My first try buy failed in 3 weeks. This was my second try. I think 199. Maybe I lost $220

I love it.

I looked at the Android boot and it was old ugly icons that reminded me of my first 49 China Cherokee tablets. I never went back to Android because I already had my phone and the Nexus 7 in my bed  this tablet was iPad size, but thin and light.

So what changed? I opened my blog page in chrome and started to blog. I have actually cool Bluetooth keyboard I could easily buy and resell or just review. It’s special.

I looked down. It had not capitalized my sentence. It had not fixed anything. It highlighted the words it could recognize as wrong but some were just not in the database. I sighed. Oh yeah.

Just then it hits me. I’m not using windows as much as Android. Ding… I think, I can make that ugly Android look modern I get. I downloaded the new Google now launcher, and essentials. This tablet is amazing in bed. I can use the fantastic Gboard keyboard with Google search and bitmoji built right in. It’s way faster than WordPress was on thereunder 10 OS.

I also have the hard keyboard. If I look, I may even mirror my Samsung here.

 

 

 

Memento Blogging

I just realized my Blog is like the movie Memento. It can be read backwards, and you learn what everything means in reverse, eventually. Imagine if I wrote it as a book, but one that was designed and styled to be read backwards. You start at age 100 with the current blog, and it reads backwards. Nothing makes sense until you read more.

 

 

Eric the half a bee.

As I was falling asleep with my mouth slightly open because if the congestion when I heard a bee. I can’t be sure that it was a bee, but it was certainly louder than an average fly. It might have been an above-average fly. Superfly? I’ve seen some really big flies over the past few years. Not science fiction horror movie big like the spiders, but the flies that would have made the football teams in fly world.

I listened for a while as it buzzed around making that strange sound that insects make as they jig Jag back and forth in different directions. It seemed to be staying in the air longer than I expected, has insects often fly from place to place but never for very long in the air. As Time passed, I started to think, maybe it’s not a fly. Or Abby. Maybe it’s some electrical sound that I haven’t heard before. It almost sounds like a man shaving his beard at 3 a.m.

Then suddenly I realized. It must be the lady upstairs using her vibrator.

I was able to fall asleep without the fear of an insect in my mouth.

 

America: 30 seconds at a time

I’ve always been fascinated with people watching.  Seeing smiles on faces energizes me like sunlight energizes Superman. I especially like seeing different cultures and how the react tio the same things, and observing different towns and communities and noticing the subtle differences.

Sometimes it’s the little things, like the change of a font on the street signs, or how some cities handle their stop lights and advanced green signals that amuses me. Sometimes it’s more cultural.

I live in Ontario, where we’re known for bagging our milk, and thinking Toronto is the center of the universe. Apparently I also say “mouth” a funny way. A woman from Seattle once told me I was free to say mouth any time, as it brought her smiles.

One of the unique properties of a Southern Ontario upbringing in the 60’s and 70s was having a much wider TV selection than most places. In many US cities, they had ABC, CBS and NBC in the early days. Living where I did, with a metal antenna up the side of our home, we received those US staples, but also Canadian networks CBC and CTC from a few different cities. Later, we expanded to include Global and CITY TV. When I was 13 or 14, I actually had almost a full section of 13 channels. Most of North America had 5 or less.

In the days before Cable TV petitioned for the rights to replace US broadcasts with Canadian simulcasts, this meant I could watch the major US TV shows on Canadian channels or US channels and see the difference in culture through their commercials. It has always fascinated me. Local culture is always best displayed through commercials. I’ve been a fan of those differences.

Today, I don’t get as many opportunities to witness American commercials. Almost all the shows I can watch on cable are streamed with Canadian commercials, even on the American channels. It’s rare to get to see a show with the US feed, either from Buffalo, Chicago or some other US city.

Today, while watching a show called Rosewood, I happened to record a later version which airs after midnight on a Fox affiliate. Usually I record the 8pm version on a secondary CTV channel from Hamilton.  At first, I didn’t notice anything different, as I fast forwarded right to the start of the episode. During the running of the opening credits, I was surprised to see a “FOX PRESENTS” banner above the title. Interesting I thought, as we don’t see that version here, and it looked like it was a poorly added graphic overlay that was done later, but a different graphics team. Perhaps the Detroit Fox affiliate likes to self promote. I can’t knock them for that. Here in Canada, the competition between networks is getting fierce, and I’ve noticed we’re doing the same. Almost every show starts out with a banner from the parent company now. Sadly there are fewer, as almost all TV in Canada is presented by only three companies. Since many people also download, adding a branding to the credits makes sense.

Where I really noticed the change however, was at the very first commercial break. I paused to write this blog almost instantly. The very first commercial was amazing to me. It was for Lyrica. A medication so bold, it even has lie in it’s name.

Fibromyalgia. It’s one of those semi mysterious conditions that is often diagnosed to people who are sore or tired without obvious explanation. For this reason, it is somewhat controversial, and is often over diagnosed to people. I know almost nothing about it, so I am aware I may offend legitimate sufferers by saying it’s not always a real thing. I accept that judgement. I am a pain wimp, and I don’t want to belittle anyone’s else’s agony.

I did however, find the wording in the commercial almost comical. It’s obvious lawyers are terrified of the litigious American market, but still want to advertise. We have very different last in Canada, and have substantially less medication marketing allowed. I have no doubt if the laws were different, Canada would be flooded with similar ads, but for now, it remains a very America thing. Commercials in the USA are shockingly fear based.

After a few shots of very depressed looking worn down women discussing their loss of energy, they proclaim their doctor has prescribed this drug. These words follow above a “DRAMATIZATION” of a purple body figure with lots of interconnected lights flying slowly around a figure; “Fibromyalgia is thought to be the result of overactive nerves. Lyrica is believed to calm these nerves.  For some, Lyrica can significantly relieve Fibromyalgia pain.”

I found this statement to be very well crafted to indicate, for most, it will do nothing. They don’t actually say anything. The product is a theory, or at the least, something that only works sometimes because nobody is really certain what Fibromyalgia is. Following this, is the nearly 15 second list of side effects the drug may have. These include trouble breathing, rash, hives, blurry vision or suicidal thoughts or actions. The most common side effects however, seem to be the exact effects described 20 seconds previously as the symptoms of Fibromyalgia.

They end the long list with; Don’t drink alcohol. and the text; Lyrica is not a narcotic or antidepressant. I especially love the words; Those who have had a drug or alcohol problem may be more likely to misuse Lyrica, meaning any problems resolution in addition are your fault, not theirs.

Drugs ads are hilarious to me, as a Canadian. Sometimes the listed side effects are longer then the promotional or beneficial descriptions. Drug companies just need enough time to tell you you’re probably sick and should ask your doctor about this drug. Then blah blah blah blah blah for the rest of the ad. I understand all these side effects are listed on the package or a sheet inside the bottles, even in Canada, and I understand it’s a law, and probably even a good idea to have them clear in a commercial, booth for health and legal reasons… but it’s still funny.

The commercial ends with the tag; See our ad in HEALTH, which I assume is a magazine.  The commercial ends with photos of the worn out ladies now enjoying a camping trip with her family, and the next commercial begins.

It’s an add for a credit card, aimed at terrifying you about scam artist contractors, and how their product tells the truth. 1% Cashback. It neglects to inform you of the interest rates. I was almost surprised it didn’t have a long disclaimer with it, or at least teeny unreadable text… but I guess banks have a better lobby group against being honest in ads about the downsides. It was only a 15 second spot anyway, leaving hardly enough time for a fast talking announcer to say something like; “credit card companies may cause financial grief, loss of relationships and/or everything you own. Do not use while intoxicated or after 4am. Side effects may include suicidal thoughts or actions”.

The following ads were more national, and similar to Canadian ads, although the Glad garbage bag ad was still quite fear based. It solved the problem of your mother smelling a stink when she comes to visit. You need Glad Garbage bags to eliminate that odour. Not having glad bags may result in suicidal thoughts or actions.

It didn’t say that in the ad, but like many US commercials, that side effects of suicidal thoughts or actions if you don’t buy their product, or elect their candidate or ask your doctor about their medicine is implied. Maybe the solution to America’s suicide violence problem is just getting the right garbage bags.

End of Part 1.